Disturbing new evidence indicates that Americans by the millions are failing to deify Sen. Barack Obama, the presumed Democratic presidential nominee, reflecting mounting fears among rabid early supporters that their charismatic Boy Messiah may not even be divine.
"It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way,” wept an Obama apostle. “Even in his native Chicago, you can’t find anybody building shrines or Baby Obama creches.”
Meanwhile, at the junior Illinois senator's recent campaign stops, stampeding throngs of Obama fanatics have not been observed attempting to touch the hem of his garment. In Cleveland, church ceremonies to commemorate the anniversary of the child Obama’s descent to America from Hawaii appear not to be scheduled – hard on the heels of the disclosure that biblical scholars’ painstaking searches of both the Old and New Testaments reveal not a single reference linking Obama with any aspect of the Second Coming.
Campaign insiders close to Sen. John McCain, the likely Republican presidential nominee, while careful not to be seen as sacrilegious, nonetheless expressed obvious relief. “The guy may be no mere mortal,” granted one top McCain aide, “but all this shows he’s still not on a par with Our Lady of Fatima or Joan of Arc. In other words, his victory ain’t preordained.”
Obama’s cause is not being helped by his campaign managers’ refusal to disclose exactly when their candidate intends to perform his next miracle. For example, no confirmation or denial has been forthcoming of a rumored Obama-led “Walk On Water” fund-raising marathon from the Chicago lakeshore to Benton Harbor, across the lake in Michigan.
“I’d say we’ve been had,” groused a longtime Obama acolyte. “It’s becoming ominously clear that Barack Obama never had any intention of using the White House as a stepping stone.”
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of "All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall" and "Zany Afternoons."
Comments:
Posted 08/04/2008 03:00pm with
I knew he wasn’t divine a LONG TIME ago… I must admit that I was not a Hillary Clinton supporter from the start… seems that I was influenced by the press and their dirty dealings in the beginning… I was not an Obama supporter either… John Edwards was my choice. Well the field was cleared and Hillary and Obama were the choices. I found myself in a quandry and wondered which o ne? I started doing my research and found that the press was so gung ho on Obama that the hairs on my neck stood up as a warning… hmmmmmmm … every time I did not listen to that little voice I got in trouble… so, wow…. YouTube became such a big deal that the press had to report the Rev. Wright issue… oh boy, now I knew why I had the hair on the back of my head stood up. I knew that I was listening to a politician who had learned over 20 years how to sway people to his point of view. I was right… a politician with emotional appeal and nothing else… Change… what change? Never any substance to his speeches. No knowledge of how to make the changes. I cannot and will not support Obama…
I am proud to a PUMA and I am proud of Hillary Clinton and her courage in the face of the sexist and biased Main Stream Media. I have stopped watching CNN as a result of Wolfe Blitzer and Donna Brazile, esp. her race baiting ways and their calling for her to leave the race before all the votes were counted. I deplore MSNBC and their sexist and mysogenist commentators.
When will this country come to its senses and see what is really happening… probably when enough of us PUMA’s point it out to them. They will never silence the voices of the people… we are the backbone of America.
As one eloquent black woman wrote on one of the other blogs (she is a disinfranchised voter from Michigan): My roots are not in Africa, my ancestors were, my neighbors roots are not in Europe, their ancestors where, my roots are in America. I am a person of color, but I am a American I am not an African and make no mistake my loyalties lie with America Rev. Wright. I do not wish to separate myself nor my family from America I do not wish to see a black America and white America and yellow America and brown America.
I AM AN AMERICAN!!!! I am a PUMA!!!! and I am proud to scream both those phrases
Posted 08/04/2008 03:07pm with
Voters within the Democfratic party could have told you that. The number of PUMA’S are grwoing every day. He has unified people, but it has been against him. The DNC will not force their SELECTED candidate down our throats. Voters elect the candidate.
PUMA
http://www.justsaynodeal.com/
Posted 08/04/2008 03:30pm with
to bmw60…your comments speak the truth so eloquently for so many of us…We can’t be Democrats voting ‘party’ any longer, this current DNC proved that loud and clear! They’ve crossed a line, gone too far, to expect blind loyalty. Hillary is obviously the better candidate by far, and trying to coronate Obama instead, is very suspect indeed, it’s like a bad joke. PUMAs have to speak out, it’s the democratic way…REAL DEMOCRATS protect our Country first!
If the situation were not so serious, and dangerous…it would actually be funny!
Obama supporters will be floating down from the clouds, he’s not doing a good job of keeping them up there any longer. His hotair is now lukewarm!
Posted 08/04/2008 06:02pm with
Obama isn’t divine? You mean . . . you mean . . . he isn’t the 2nd coming of the Messiah? Hold the presses, avoid giving away all your posessions, don’t confess ALL your sins. We’ve been had? Sort of like Jim Jones? The sun shall never rise again . . . the tides will stop . . . the mountains will crumble. Oh well. . .
Is it too late to get Hillary?
Posted 08/04/2008 07:25pm with
I, like every other PUMA I’ve heard of, was a PUMA before PUMA existed. I was repulsed at the rail-roading or Sentator Clinton! While the polls continued to show she held a commanding lead over ANY GOP candidate, BO was continually flouted as the great hope and Senator Clinton was abused and told she stood no chance.
The facts ARE that Senator Clinton holds the mandate of the American People. It is SHE who is our candidate and can lead this country onto the road of recovery. As the scales fall from the eyes of Obama supporters his numbers drop, yet Senator Mccain’s numbers do not climb. That would be because Americans at large are become dissillusioned at a corrupt democratic process which has disenfranchised all it’s voters by lying and manipulation.
We, at PUMA work to ensure that Senator Clinton is allowed a FULL VOTE at the convention in August and we write our delegates and urge and IMPLORE them to side with the will of the people. So they took bribes from Senator Obama’s campaign…so what? Keep the money and vote against such under-handed politics as usual. Vote for the candidate who will truly bring us substantial changes. The one the republicans fear the most! Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton!
Join PUMA now, at Pumapac.org or JustSayNoDeal and let your ELECTED officials know you will not fall in line, regardless of their demands. You own your vote and will cast it as you see fit in November!
Posted 08/05/2008 01:07am with
I guess the Kool-Aid is finally wearing off. We PUMAs abstained from drinking the Kool-Aid from the beginning. I prefer a nice Pinot Noir myself. But most of all, we can’t abide what the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee did on May 31, when they reallocated delegates and stole Clinton delegates to gift to Obama. The whole process was a mockery of the Democratic system.
We don’t want a President who walks on water; we want a President who knows how to lead and doesn’t flip-flop at every turn. Obama has no backbone—he has already backed down on FISA and now, offshore drilling. His word cannot be trusted. He’s a first class wimp.
PUMA!!
TheDenverGroup
Posted 08/05/2008 12:57pm with
Thanks Bruce. Seems some are missing the point. To them I suggest leaving the island enmasse and swimming for the promised land. It’s just over the horizon. You can make it, I know you can.
Posted 08/12/2008 12:39pm with
Lets see my choice is cranky old John McCain or that energetic young, smart black man Barack Obama?
McCain who does not know how to use a computer but is willing to learn if we elect him – I’ll just vote for that smart black man.
My Choices are: John McCain who says the economic downturn is psychological? – Na! I’ll vote for the smart black man.
McCain who says you are better off under George Bush? – Nope I’ll vote for the smart black man.
Mc Cain who wants to continue killing more people looking for weapons of mass destruction that do not exist? – Gee! I’ll vote for the smart black man.
McCain who believes that we should stay the course but is not willing to support the people he puts in harms way. – I’ll take a chance on the smart black man.
Should I vote for a man that does not know that 9-11 was caused by Osama Bin Laden not Sedam Hussein? – Easy! I’ll vote for the smart black man.
Vote for the man who does not know if the Sunnis or Sheits are our enemies? – No way I’ll vote for the smart black man.
Vote for the man who helped put our government on the China, Saudi Arabia credit card? – Not a chance I’ll vote for the smart black man.
Vote for the man with the worst temper in the Senate to have his finger on the nuclear button? – No way – I’ll vote for the smart black man.
Posted 08/12/2008 12:57pm with
Ok!
Lets think about this?
Do you really think when push comes to shove the American people will vote for McBush?
McCain is the man who voted to send our bravest to die looking for weapons of mass destruction that did not exist.
McCain is the man who does not know that 9-11 was caused by Osama Bin Laden not Sedam Hussein.
McCain is the man who does not know if the Sunnis or Sheits are our enemies!
McCain is the man who put our government on the China, Saudi Arabia credit card.
McCain is the man has adopted virtually the entire Bush agenda, often reversing long held positions and compromising supposed core principles. From Iraq, tax cuts for the wealthy, broken promises on the deficit to opposition to SCHIP, tax credits for health care, overturning Roe v. Wade and a right-wing Supreme Court, without question John McCain represents a third Bush term.
Get real!
Our only hope is Obama.